It has been quite some time since I’ve written. I have now reached 34 weeks, and am very anxious for Luke to arrive. The beginning of the trimester was rough-I threw up a lot, which was similar to the third trimester with Joey causing anxiety. I also experienced a random increase in blood pressure that my doctor thinks was a fluke, but worries me as Ava’s arrival was predicated on pre-eclampsia in the 37th week.
I was reading posts tonight from people who have become good friends, even though we’ve never met. Life changes when you lose a child. I know that some people probably thought I was cold because I didn’t cry in public very much and I didn’t have a breakdown or accept a lot of offers for help. In reality, I cried a lot in the shower and the car. I am not very good at sharing emotions. Or at letting people get too close to me. But it doesn’t mean that I didn’t appreciate the generosity and the hugs and the phone calls.